Gail Collins, the funniest New York Times columnist, and former editor of the whole Editorial Page, wrote an end-of-the-year quiz. Though it is, as usual, filled with her own commentary about TARP, Bush, questionable governers and pop culture, it also does have its facts straight. Here’s the most fun part of the quiz. Good luck!
Match the presidential candidates:
John McCain
John Edwards
Dennis Kucinich
Mitt Romney
Rudy Giuliani
Fred Thompson
Mike Huckabee
Hillary Clinton
Mike Gravel
Chris Dodd
A) Urged an auditorium full of high school students to avoid alcohol and stick with marijuana.
B) Hired a campaign videographer who filmed him vowing not to behave like a Ken doll.
C) Took a cellphone call from his wife in the middle of a speech.
D) Carried a copy of the Constitution and a bag of organic tea in his pocket.
E) Drove to Canada with the family dog strapped on the roof of the car.
F) In a single year as governor, accepted gifts that included a discount card from Wendy’s, $48,000 in clothing and a chain saw.
G) Campaign ad said: “I was raised on pinochle and the American dream.”
H) Moved entire family to Iowa and enrolled the kids in school in an attempt to win the caucuses. Came in seventh, behind uncommitted.
I) Told a convention of bikers that he wished his wife would enter the Miss Buffalo Chip beauty contest.
Please understand that holding the dearest people in my life hostage is not something I take lightly. It’s risky, expensive, and technically illegal, but sometimes you have to listen to your inner McNulty and take justice into your own hands.
Besides, the show is so fucking good. (It’s all connected!) I’ve told you this day after day, year after year, and you all ignored it, preferring to watch American Idol and Wife Swap. I mean, Jesus Christ. Wife Swap?
”
From McSweeney’s. This humorous very brief essay really puts the “got” into “you’ve got to watch ‘The Wire.’” Sometimes I wish I were more effective at getting people to watch the show. It really is the best show ever.
“ The institution of marriage is simply too far out of sync with the realities of human relationships. ”
from Steve Pavlina, the goofy advice-dealing-self-help-guru-whose-ideas-often-make-too-much-sense. He has recently decided, with the agreement of his wife of over a decade, to begin living a polyamorous lifestyle — one that lets a person grow emotionally and physically intimate with many partners.
He makes a good point about traditional marriage in the (long) article. Scroll to the “Monogamy” and “Marriage” subheads to read a bit more about it.
One thing I find especially interesting about this whole new life goal of his is that he refuses to make any deeper connection between polyamory and polygamy. But there is a pretty strong similarity between the two; in fact, his very own words expose it. He believes traditional marriage is “out of sync with the realities of human relationships,” and because the “marriage” part of polygamy is the only major thing separating it from polyamory, in his mind, there really isn’t much difference between the two.
The show, called “The United States of Tara,” is written by Juno’s writer, Diablo Cody. Produced by Steven Spielberg with Toni Collette starring, the show has already gotten buzz for the big-name raw talent involved.
But the show (first episode available from Showtime here, password TARA) revolves around a character with dissociative identity disorder, or DID. The disease “describes a condition in which a single person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities (known as alter egos or alters), each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment.” The disease is severe and often caused by a very lengthy period of trauma. Those stricken are more active than most when it comes to defending their disease, and the thread to which I linked showcases many DID sufferers’ reactions to this new show.
The show appears, at least in its pilot episode, to go by that official definition; Toni Collette’s character, Tara, morphs to a teenager (“T”) and a gun shootin’, beer drinkin’, cigarette smokin’ redneck (“Buck”), and there’s apparently another character, Alice, who loves to cook and clean the home. The different identities relied on stereotypes (thongs and pot for the teenager, intolerance towards homosexuals and a flannel shirt for the redneck), and the plot was a textbook example of an introductory show — it set up four to six problem areas while exposing us to the show’s premise and major characters.
This show would not have been greenlit seven or eight years ago. Even for Showtime back then, it would have been too controversial. The disorder is no laughing matter, as the IMDb thread proves, and honestly, the show isn’t funny, moving, thought-provoking, or well-acted, excluding Collette. Generally, it tries to be a comedy, but this show would obviously be better as a dark, brooding, hour-long drama.
The only reason the show got the go-ahead from Showtime is the success of two other shows on its network — Weeds and Dexter. Both shows have way-out-of-the-ordinary plots (suburban mom becomes giant pot dealer / policeman has special urges and kills murderers), but the reason they both have had so much success is that they pose moral questions, deal with topics everyone has experience with, and, most of all, hired good actors.
The choice of disease and the supporting cast’s acting abilities surely don’t lend any help, but “The United States of Tara” will ultimately fail because it picked the wrong genre. What a shame.
“I compare the marching to performing arts, like maybe a ballet. It was very musically- and art-based, and I am not musically and art based. I’m sports- and TV-based.” Falser words have never been spoken.
—Do Jews wring their hands too much? I didn’t notice a great deal of Christian angst over Ken Lay.
—I wonder if the people in Ken Lay’s church wrung their hands. Since Judaism is not a religion, but more like a religious family, bound by strong communal ties, Jews are more likely than Christians to feel pride or shame in the actions of other Jews. You don’t get strong bonds without a degree of identification. That is why the foolishness in other people’s families doesn’t embarrass us.
“ Nearly every blogger I spoke to agreed with this sentiment. If you’re trying to gain an audience, you can’t afford to worry over every sentence as if it were … see, I was going to spend 15 minutes thinking of a hilarious and deeply insightful simile there, but, damn it, I’m in blogging mode and need to move on. ”
from Slate’s “How to Blog.” Sorry, readers, but I actually think it is important to spend the time to come up with quality, polished, and (gasp!) proofread content.
There actually is some other news today in addition to the failed American auto company bailout.
A New York lawyer, described as “a Houdini of impersonation and false documents” and “a person of exceptional ingenuity and exceptional resourcefulness,” has been arrested in both Canada and the U.S. for stealing $380 million in a ready-made-for-TV scheme that involved fake identities, dozens of cellphones and websites, and one big set of cojones.
The Illinois governor scandal has inspired a drink, the “Dirty Governor,” at a Chi-town bar. The best part about it? It’s made with Effen vodka. (One only has to take a quick look at the afadavit to see why that’s hilariously fitting.)
Gail Collins, the funniest New York Times columnist, and former editor of the whole Editorial Page, wrote an end-of-the-year quiz. Though it is, as usual, filled with her own commentary about TARP, Bush, questionable governers and pop culture, it also does have its facts straight. Here’s the most fun part of the quiz. Good luck!
But the show (first episode available from Showtime 
